No Crap Allowed

So Carol and I went to a store called "Tuesday Morning" the other day.

It's one of those overstock style stores that have a few gems among the loads of unsellable crap that gets manufactured by the containerful these days. This means that alongside s perfectly good cut and blown glass piece from Poland and a serviceable Cusinart blender/food processor you are presented with tiny, cheaply made and useless "inventions" for the kitchen and - I kid you not - a motion-sensing barking plastic gaurd-dog for one to place in their golf bag.

So there's nothing wrong with the store, if you are willing to look around for a bargain, and just need a nice bowl or towel or curtain rod or high end chef's knife at a discount. And you are willing to ignore the CRAP...and I couldn't, it bothered me.

All I could think of was:

A. What a waste of resources.
B. What a waste of productivity.

and

C. What idiot thought this "product" was a good idea?

I know that it is often said that one can never grow broke underestimating the taste and general sense of the American public, but please. The fact that most of these "surplus" items are made to begin with is criminal.

One could make an argument, I suppose, that even though this stuff will never make a profit for the creator, nor are these items likely to enhance the life of any single human being - forget humanity in general - that the economic benefit to the third world country where these are manufactured creates SOME good. To that argument I would say PHOOEY! This stuff is all the more criminal because it was probably made by enslaved children chained to the production line of the sub-contractor who bid this job out at a cost that gave the misguided entrepreneur a glimmer of hope at recouping his or her cost and actually turning a profit. UGH!

I'm usually a very "free market" kind of person, the government's only job is to guarantee fair trade and commerce, consistent rules and promotion of general safety and protection of the populace/consumers from fraud and injury. In other words, don't hurt anyone and HAVE AT IT. Try to make your fortune with your crazy idea, it may not be so crazy after all, and the folks who vote with their pocketbooks in your favor will turn your product into an acceptable, if not tasteful, item.

Well, after this experience (and similar ones at Bed Bath and Beyond and the worst offender The Sharper Image) I am proposing that the US government create an ANTI CRAP law. Every potential new product would be screened for 8 criteria:

Quality
Desirability
Taste
Design
Usability
Utility
Beauty &
General Value to Humanity

If, in the eyes of the panel of judges, the proposed item or product gets a "pass" on 6 of the 8 criteria set forth above, the product will get the NOT CRAP seal of approval.

If it doesn't pass, then the product will not receive the seal and will not be allowed to be imported into the USA and certainly not manufactured here.

If the company seeking import of manufacture of the product wishes to, they can pay a "crap tax" that goes up exponetially with each additional criteria not passed. If they prove a market for their crap they can then ask for a review and change of status.

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All this may seem harsh and draconian, but look at it this way. All that brainpower, all those resources, all those man-hours, all that transportation - is WASTED on this crap, and we can't get those resources and hours and greenhouse gas emissions BACK.

All of it can be better spent, and even though I'm not a religious man I find it downright sinful that so much ill advised crap is made in the name of commerce.

Let's make the world a better place - support the No Crap Allowed movement.